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一把辛酸泪:建筑行业的“专属舞蹈动作”第1张图片

如何像建筑师那样跳舞?
How to Dance Like an Architect

由专筑网李韧,杨帆编译

众所周知,建筑行业充满了压力。漫长的项目周期、熬夜、优柔寡断的客户、武断的客户、各种限制、规范、软件、承包商等等,这一系列的问题让建筑行业看上去险象环生。因此,一旦有机会,建筑师非常迫切地需要释放这些来自工作中的压力。下面是一些建筑师的“专属舞蹈动作”:

Architecture, as all architects like to remind everyone, can be a stressful profession. Long days, late nights, indecisive clients, too-decisive clients, permit issues, legal issues, software problems, contractor problems... all combine to generate a high-pressure work environment. So, when architects get a chance to let loose and relieve some of that pressure, they really let loose. Here are a few moves to get you dancing like an architect:

一把辛酸泪:建筑行业的“专属舞蹈动作”第2张图片
© Andrea Vasquez

套头毛衣

在你平时穿黑色高领毛衣的过程中,你的手臂会形成无形的束缚感,当你把双臂放在身体两侧,这就好像把两只脚塞进鞋子中那样。当你的体温逐渐上升,这个过程会变得更加缓慢。套头毛衣是生活必需品,因为这关乎着你的审美表现。

The Turtleneck Shuffle
Donned in your usual black turtleneck, this move is based around limited arm movement and gradual overheating. With arms pinned to your sides, try to get as much going in the leg department as your Birkenstocks allow. This can get looser and slower as your body temperature rises. The turtleneck must stay on at all costs. It’s all about commitment to the aesthetic.

一把辛酸泪:建筑行业的“专属舞蹈动作”第3张图片
© Andrea Vasquez

渲染人员

我们都不了解这样的动作是否会造成腕管综合征,但实际操作上与CAD和PS无异,当你把手放在身体两侧,像雨刮器一般摆动你的前臂,这个动作让人感觉类似橡皮擦工具的操作。

The Renderer
It’s hard to say for sure whether or not this move was born from carpal tunnel syndrome, but either way it’s a hit with CAD monkeys and photoshop whizzes alike. With elbows pressed firmly to your sides, swing your forearms from side to side in a windscreen wiper motion as if you’re going hard with that eraser tool.

一把辛酸泪:建筑行业的“专属舞蹈动作”第4张图片
© Andrea Vasquez

熬夜者

这个动作来源于三天没睡觉的你,在拜托长时间身心折磨之后,只想紧闭双眼,全身松软,身体无限接近地面。如果你真想证明自己的付出,你可以直接睡在你的“战场”上,但这是最不健康的生活方式。

The All-Nighter
Dance like you’re finally free after an end of term critique, but you haven’t slept for three days. Eyes closed, body all floppy, the closer your fingers are to the floor the more convincing this move becomes. If you really want to prove how dedicated you are to the cause, you can actually fall asleep on the dance floor, claiming the coveted title in the who-has-the-most-unhealthy-work-culture-in-architecture-(dance)-battle.

一把辛酸泪:建筑行业的“专属舞蹈动作”第5张图片
© Andrea Vasquez

客户的傲娇姿态

建筑师的上帝甲方往往呈现出傲娇的姿态,他们常常在事务所中如圆舞曲般来回走动,有时你以为自己已经很努力了,但是这些甲方会让你感觉被打回原形。

The Client Waltz
Architects who favor this dance can be seen spinning around in circles until they end up where they started. In your own attempt, make some of these circles deceptively wide, so you think you’re making progress, until you hit the same spot all over again.

一把辛酸泪:建筑行业的“专属舞蹈动作”第6张图片
© Andrea Vasquez

火烧眉毛

这种动作一般来源于建筑师的崩溃状态,上蹿下跳来回跑动,这就好像电影中炸弹即将爆炸的场面。

Burning Down the House
Inspired by architecture-related hits, Burning Down the House is all about anarchy and demolition. Jump up and down, thrash around, and make like Howard Roark about to explode something.

一把辛酸泪:建筑行业的“专属舞蹈动作”第7张图片
© Andrea Vasquez

虚拟的房地产经纪人

这种姿态来源于房地产经纪人,他们通常漫无目的地来回走动,视察般地偶然在你的背后站立,然后再慢慢走开去视察下一个人。

The Virtual Realtor
Grope aimlessly at the air and bump into people. Move suddenly out of the way of unseen objects. Occasionally stand still for minutes at a time just moving your head around slowly.

一把辛酸泪:建筑行业的“专属舞蹈动作”第8张图片
© Andrea Vasquez

绘图板

这是一个新老建筑师都怀念的时代。身体前倾,臀部翘起,身体与地面呈现了一定的角度,有时还会随着音乐的节奏晃动手臂。

最后…

The Drawing Board
One for the older architects and younger architects nostalgic for a different time. Bend back and forth from the hips and stick your arms out at a right angle. Adjust arms in incremental movements in time with the music.

And finally...

一把辛酸泪:建筑行业的“专属舞蹈动作”第9张图片
© Andrea Vasquez

建筑师的经典造型

建筑师的常态便是在一个房间里走来走去,然后指出各种有趣的空间与设计上的问题。对于空间的评判,他们常常会使用例如“整体”与“部分”等专业术语。建筑师恨不得让全世界的人都知道这个行业有多重要,如果你对建筑师充满信任,那么他们将为你创造一个完美的世界。

现在,请愉悦地尽情舞动吧!

图片来源:Andrea Vasquez

The Architect Classic
Go around the room pointing out interesting details and spatial conditions. Be highly critical and use words like “program” and “parti,” which seem confusing in the context of a bar. Make sure you remind everyone how important architects are and how we could basically save the world if someone would just let us already.

Now, dance like you just received an occupancy certificate!
Images for this article were kindly provided by Andrea Vasquez.
        

出处:本文译自www.archdaily.com/,转载请注明出处。

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